Episode 12
The Princess and the Squire, Part 1
The dragon knights of Camelhot were sitting around the Square Table, waiting for one latecomer to arrive. King Allfire coughed and shuffled a sheaf of papers.
‘Well,’ he said, ‘perhaps we should make a start. First order of business, then… now, let me see, it’s here somewhere…’
‘Forgive me, Your Majesty, but it doesn’t seem right for us to start without Sir Blaze,’ said Sir Burnevere. ‘After all, he’s just saved us all from becoming Merle’s slaves, so I think we should do him the courtesy of waiting for him, at least a little longer.’
‘Yes, I agree,’ said Sir Hotbreath. ‘We owe everything to Sir Blaze - we can’t start without him.’
‘It does seem a poor way to repay him for the great service he has performed for us, sirs,’ said Sir Galahot.
‘Well, well,’ said King Allfire, ‘I never dreamed I would see the day when the Square Table was surrounded by and regaled with unrestrained praise for Sir Blaze. What say you, Sir Loungelot?’
‘Well, I’m very grateful to Sir Blaze, Your Majesty,’ said Sir Loungelot, ‘but I wouldn’t mind starting the meeting without him, even in spite of his recent triumph.’
‘Coo-ee! Panic over, everyone - I’m here, and look who I’ve brought with me!’
Sir Blaze entered the hall with his arm around the shoulders of a young male dragon.
‘Is that Sir Charash?’ Sir Hotbreath whispered to Sir Burnevere.
‘I certainly hope it is,’ Sir Burnevere whispered back.
‘Ah, Sir Charash,’ said King Allfire. ‘Welcome back to Camelhot - we’ve been looking forward to seeing you again.’
‘Thank you, Your Majesty,’ said Sir Charash. ‘I’m very glad to be back, although I must admit that I did enjoy spending a few weeks with my parents and telling them about everything, and hearing how proud they are of me. My mother even made me this lovely new tabard.’
‘Doesn’t he look stunning in it?’ said Sir Blaze, grasping Charash by both shoulders and staring at him admiringly. ‘That’s the coat of arms of Toasting-Forkney, you know.’
‘Yes, I recognise it,’ said King Allfire. ‘King Hot was once a great ally of mine, which is partly why I have always been ready and willing to knight his sons.’
‘And that device you wear across the coat of arms, Sir Charash,’ said Sir Burnevere, ‘with the horizontal bar and the three stripes. Does that adornment not indicate that you are the heir to the title that goes with it?’
‘Um, yes,’ said Charash. ‘My mother absolutely insisted that I should wear it. I believe Queen Griddle sent word to her that my brother, Sir Agraflame, wasn’t ever going to be in a position to inherit my father’s throne, and that… well, I was the only one left. I never expected to become heir to the
throne, being the third and youngest son, but now I suppose I’ll just have to take on the responsibility when the time comes… which won’t be for many years, I hope.’
‘Now that I’ve seen your new tabard, Charash, I remember Sir Agraflame wearing a device like that across his coat of arms when I first knew him,’ said Sir Galahot. ‘I never knew what it meant, but now I understand. Listen, we’re sorry for the loss of your brother… for the loss of both of them, in fact. Aren’t we, sirs?’
Everyone nodded and vocalised their agreement.
‘Thank you,’ said Charash. ‘I never really knew Agraflame - he was twenty-two years older than me and I didn’t see him often. But I do miss Gasflame, when I stop and think about it - he was a good brother to me.’
‘And a good cousin to me,’ said Sir Blaze.
‘And a very good knight as well,’ said King Allfire. ‘Gasflame will always play an important role in the stories told of Camelhot, believe me.’
‘Well, thank you, everyone,’ said Charash. ‘I’m glad to hear these things, and I’m honoured to take my place at the Square Table.’
‘And we’re honoured to have you,’ said King Allfire. ‘Do sit down, my boy.’
Sir Blaze showed Sir Charash to his seat, before taking his own. Sir Burnevere leaned towards Charash.
‘Something’s been bothering me ever since I first saw your coat of arms, Charash,’ he said. ‘Just what is the name of that horizontal bar that marks one out as heir to a title? I’ve been racking my brains and I just can’t remember.’
‘Oh, right,’ said Charash. ‘Well, it’s called a label.’
‘A label?’ laughed Sir Loungelot. ‘Not a very grand name, is it?’
‘It does seem like a bit of a letdown,’ said Sir Hotbreath.
‘Let’s make it our duty to think of a better name for it, sirs,’ said Sir Galahot.
‘It doesn’t matter what it’s called,’ said Sir Blaze. ‘Charash wears his label well, and he does it with pride - who cares if its name is a bit lame?’
‘That’s right,’ said King Allfire, ‘for let us not forget that even someone with a lowly label - such as “kitchen boy” - can save a kingdom. Now, to
business…’
‘Well,’ he said, ‘perhaps we should make a start. First order of business, then… now, let me see, it’s here somewhere…’
‘Forgive me, Your Majesty, but it doesn’t seem right for us to start without Sir Blaze,’ said Sir Burnevere. ‘After all, he’s just saved us all from becoming Merle’s slaves, so I think we should do him the courtesy of waiting for him, at least a little longer.’
‘Yes, I agree,’ said Sir Hotbreath. ‘We owe everything to Sir Blaze - we can’t start without him.’
‘It does seem a poor way to repay him for the great service he has performed for us, sirs,’ said Sir Galahot.
‘Well, well,’ said King Allfire, ‘I never dreamed I would see the day when the Square Table was surrounded by and regaled with unrestrained praise for Sir Blaze. What say you, Sir Loungelot?’
‘Well, I’m very grateful to Sir Blaze, Your Majesty,’ said Sir Loungelot, ‘but I wouldn’t mind starting the meeting without him, even in spite of his recent triumph.’
‘Coo-ee! Panic over, everyone - I’m here, and look who I’ve brought with me!’
Sir Blaze entered the hall with his arm around the shoulders of a young male dragon.
‘Is that Sir Charash?’ Sir Hotbreath whispered to Sir Burnevere.
‘I certainly hope it is,’ Sir Burnevere whispered back.
‘Ah, Sir Charash,’ said King Allfire. ‘Welcome back to Camelhot - we’ve been looking forward to seeing you again.’
‘Thank you, Your Majesty,’ said Sir Charash. ‘I’m very glad to be back, although I must admit that I did enjoy spending a few weeks with my parents and telling them about everything, and hearing how proud they are of me. My mother even made me this lovely new tabard.’
‘Doesn’t he look stunning in it?’ said Sir Blaze, grasping Charash by both shoulders and staring at him admiringly. ‘That’s the coat of arms of Toasting-Forkney, you know.’
‘Yes, I recognise it,’ said King Allfire. ‘King Hot was once a great ally of mine, which is partly why I have always been ready and willing to knight his sons.’
‘And that device you wear across the coat of arms, Sir Charash,’ said Sir Burnevere, ‘with the horizontal bar and the three stripes. Does that adornment not indicate that you are the heir to the title that goes with it?’
‘Um, yes,’ said Charash. ‘My mother absolutely insisted that I should wear it. I believe Queen Griddle sent word to her that my brother, Sir Agraflame, wasn’t ever going to be in a position to inherit my father’s throne, and that… well, I was the only one left. I never expected to become heir to the
throne, being the third and youngest son, but now I suppose I’ll just have to take on the responsibility when the time comes… which won’t be for many years, I hope.’
‘Now that I’ve seen your new tabard, Charash, I remember Sir Agraflame wearing a device like that across his coat of arms when I first knew him,’ said Sir Galahot. ‘I never knew what it meant, but now I understand. Listen, we’re sorry for the loss of your brother… for the loss of both of them, in fact. Aren’t we, sirs?’
Everyone nodded and vocalised their agreement.
‘Thank you,’ said Charash. ‘I never really knew Agraflame - he was twenty-two years older than me and I didn’t see him often. But I do miss Gasflame, when I stop and think about it - he was a good brother to me.’
‘And a good cousin to me,’ said Sir Blaze.
‘And a very good knight as well,’ said King Allfire. ‘Gasflame will always play an important role in the stories told of Camelhot, believe me.’
‘Well, thank you, everyone,’ said Charash. ‘I’m glad to hear these things, and I’m honoured to take my place at the Square Table.’
‘And we’re honoured to have you,’ said King Allfire. ‘Do sit down, my boy.’
Sir Blaze showed Sir Charash to his seat, before taking his own. Sir Burnevere leaned towards Charash.
‘Something’s been bothering me ever since I first saw your coat of arms, Charash,’ he said. ‘Just what is the name of that horizontal bar that marks one out as heir to a title? I’ve been racking my brains and I just can’t remember.’
‘Oh, right,’ said Charash. ‘Well, it’s called a label.’
‘A label?’ laughed Sir Loungelot. ‘Not a very grand name, is it?’
‘It does seem like a bit of a letdown,’ said Sir Hotbreath.
‘Let’s make it our duty to think of a better name for it, sirs,’ said Sir Galahot.
‘It doesn’t matter what it’s called,’ said Sir Blaze. ‘Charash wears his label well, and he does it with pride - who cares if its name is a bit lame?’
‘That’s right,’ said King Allfire, ‘for let us not forget that even someone with a lowly label - such as “kitchen boy” - can save a kingdom. Now, to
business…’
The knights filed out of the hall, talking amongst themselves and slapping Sir Charash on the back. With carefully timed precision, Queen Griddle swept into the throng and plucked Charash out.
‘So nice to see you back here, my dear boy,’ Queen Griddle said, dragging Charash off along a corridor. ‘I deduce from your new tabard that Griselda must have received my letter.’
‘Um, yes,’ said Charash. ‘Thank you for taking the time to write to her about me, Aunty Griddle.’
‘Not at all, not at all,’ said Queen Griddle. ‘I can think of no one more deserving than you to inherit the throne of Toasting-Forkney someday. And just imagine if you were to marry someone who was also heir to the throne of a kingdom - your two kingdoms could unite into one glorious whole!’
‘Aunty Griddle, I’m only just eighteen,’ said Charash. ‘I really haven’t given any thought to marriage.’
‘Well, you should - now is the ideal time!’ said Queen Griddle. ‘I have to show you something, Charash - quickly, in here!’
Charash stumbled and fell forward as Queen Griddle propelled him through a door and shut it behind him. He found himself in a very small room with no windows.
‘Smells like apples,’ said Charash, sniffing the air. ‘Well, I suppose I’ll just wait here, then.’
Sir Charash waited for several minutes, then he heard footsteps outside the door. He took a step towards it, but jumped back quickly as the door opened and Princess Flame lurched over the threshold, obviously having just received a powerful shove from behind. The door closed behind her and a key could be heard to turn in the lock.
‘So nice to see you back here, my dear boy,’ Queen Griddle said, dragging Charash off along a corridor. ‘I deduce from your new tabard that Griselda must have received my letter.’
‘Um, yes,’ said Charash. ‘Thank you for taking the time to write to her about me, Aunty Griddle.’
‘Not at all, not at all,’ said Queen Griddle. ‘I can think of no one more deserving than you to inherit the throne of Toasting-Forkney someday. And just imagine if you were to marry someone who was also heir to the throne of a kingdom - your two kingdoms could unite into one glorious whole!’
‘Aunty Griddle, I’m only just eighteen,’ said Charash. ‘I really haven’t given any thought to marriage.’
‘Well, you should - now is the ideal time!’ said Queen Griddle. ‘I have to show you something, Charash - quickly, in here!’
Charash stumbled and fell forward as Queen Griddle propelled him through a door and shut it behind him. He found himself in a very small room with no windows.
‘Smells like apples,’ said Charash, sniffing the air. ‘Well, I suppose I’ll just wait here, then.’
Sir Charash waited for several minutes, then he heard footsteps outside the door. He took a step towards it, but jumped back quickly as the door opened and Princess Flame lurched over the threshold, obviously having just received a powerful shove from behind. The door closed behind her and a key could be heard to turn in the lock.
King Allfire stuck his head around the door of the Chancellor’s room.
‘I say, Chancellor,’ he said, ‘are you at home to visitors just now?’
‘Of course, Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor, looking up from his work. ‘This is the second time in as many weeks that you’ve come to see me - I do feel honoured.’
‘I’d just like to go through a bit of paperwork with you, old chap,’ said King Allfire. ‘We must make sure that Sir Charash’s records are in order, and then I’ve got something to add to the Square Table To-Do List.’
‘My pleasure, sire,’ said the Chancellor. ‘I’ll gather up Sir Charash’s paperwork for you now.’
‘Thank you. Um, Chancellor…’
‘Yes, Your Majesty?’
‘I’ve been chewing something over in my mind lately, and I’d like to run it past you,’ said King Allfire. ‘You are, after all, Camelhot’s greatest source of knowledge and wisdom.’
‘Well,’ said the Chancellor, ‘knowledge, perhaps.’
‘I’ve been thinking about knighting young Flicker,’ said King Allfire. ‘I’ve spoken to a lot of people about him and he really does seem to have proven his worth.’
‘Ah yes, an excellent idea, Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor.
‘But I’m not sure I should just knight him out of the blue,’ said King Allfire. ‘I thought perhaps I should wait until an opportune moment presents itself.’
‘Until he’s proven his worth one more time, you mean?’
‘Well… yes, I suppose so. But on the other hand, perhaps he’s done enough already - I know my daughter thinks he has.’
‘If you were to knight young Flicker - as you put it, sire - out of the blue, do you think any of the Knights of the Square Table would feel annoyed or resentful in any way?’ asked the Chancellor.
‘I shouldn’t think so,’ said King Allfire. ‘They all seem to think very highly of him.’
‘Well, whatever you decide to do, I’d advise you to elucidate your plans to Princess Flame sooner rather than later,’ said the Chancellor. ‘I must confess, sire, that she’s been here to see me more than once during the past week, asking about whether I thought you might be on the brink of making this decision.’
‘Oh, has she indeed?’ said King Allfire. ‘Well, perhaps I should keep her hanging on a little longer, then - I wouldn’t want her to think that she’d managed to badger me into giving her exactly what she wants!’
‘It is for you to decide, Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor. ‘Look, here is Sir Charash’s paperwork.’
‘Excellent,’ said King Allfire.
‘I say, Chancellor,’ he said, ‘are you at home to visitors just now?’
‘Of course, Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor, looking up from his work. ‘This is the second time in as many weeks that you’ve come to see me - I do feel honoured.’
‘I’d just like to go through a bit of paperwork with you, old chap,’ said King Allfire. ‘We must make sure that Sir Charash’s records are in order, and then I’ve got something to add to the Square Table To-Do List.’
‘My pleasure, sire,’ said the Chancellor. ‘I’ll gather up Sir Charash’s paperwork for you now.’
‘Thank you. Um, Chancellor…’
‘Yes, Your Majesty?’
‘I’ve been chewing something over in my mind lately, and I’d like to run it past you,’ said King Allfire. ‘You are, after all, Camelhot’s greatest source of knowledge and wisdom.’
‘Well,’ said the Chancellor, ‘knowledge, perhaps.’
‘I’ve been thinking about knighting young Flicker,’ said King Allfire. ‘I’ve spoken to a lot of people about him and he really does seem to have proven his worth.’
‘Ah yes, an excellent idea, Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor.
‘But I’m not sure I should just knight him out of the blue,’ said King Allfire. ‘I thought perhaps I should wait until an opportune moment presents itself.’
‘Until he’s proven his worth one more time, you mean?’
‘Well… yes, I suppose so. But on the other hand, perhaps he’s done enough already - I know my daughter thinks he has.’
‘If you were to knight young Flicker - as you put it, sire - out of the blue, do you think any of the Knights of the Square Table would feel annoyed or resentful in any way?’ asked the Chancellor.
‘I shouldn’t think so,’ said King Allfire. ‘They all seem to think very highly of him.’
‘Well, whatever you decide to do, I’d advise you to elucidate your plans to Princess Flame sooner rather than later,’ said the Chancellor. ‘I must confess, sire, that she’s been here to see me more than once during the past week, asking about whether I thought you might be on the brink of making this decision.’
‘Oh, has she indeed?’ said King Allfire. ‘Well, perhaps I should keep her hanging on a little longer, then - I wouldn’t want her to think that she’d managed to badger me into giving her exactly what she wants!’
‘It is for you to decide, Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor. ‘Look, here is Sir Charash’s paperwork.’
‘Excellent,’ said King Allfire.
Flame glared around the confined space with a thunderous look on her face, and then turned to Charash. Gradually, her expression softened.
‘Hello, Sir Charash,’ said Flame. ‘Congratulations on your recent knighthood, and on your newly elevated position in Toasting-Forkney.’
‘Thank you, Your Highness,’ said Sir Charash. ‘Um… what is this place?’
‘It’s a fruit cellar,’ said Flame.
‘Ah, so that’s why it smells of apples,’ said Charash. ‘Do you have any idea why we’re here?’
‘Stepmother Griddle has locked us in together,’ said Flame.
‘Oh, I see,’ said Charash. ‘Why has she done that?’
‘To force us to spend some time together - she wants us to get married.’
‘Oh… so that’s what she was talking about after the meeting!’
‘Yes, she seems very keen on the idea of uniting the kingdoms of Camelhot and Toasting-Forkney,’ said Flame, running her hands around the edge of the door. ‘That arrangement really doesn’t fit in with my plans, though, and I’m sure it doesn’t fit in with yours either… so it won’t be happening.’
‘Are things really that simple?’ asked Charash. ‘I mean, if Aunty Griddle really wants this, what can we do to change her mind?’
‘Foiling her carefully laid plan doesn’t necessarily mean changing her mind,’ said Flame. ‘It might be necessary to remove a vital part of the plan instead. By the way, we were all sorry to hear about Sir Agraflame - your parents must be very upset.’
‘Well, they are, but they both pretty much gave up on Agraflame a long time ago,’ said Charash. ‘My father says I’m a much more suitable heir than Agraflame, because I’m not evil.’
‘That is a very important factor in your favour, Charash,’ said Flame, facing the door and staring down at the keyhole. ‘Now, would you mind if I got us out of here?’
‘Not at all, Your Highness,’ said Charash. ‘If that’s what you want to do.’
‘Believe me,’ said Flame, ‘that most definitely is what I want to do!’
The sound of roaring flame filled the fruit cellar as Princess Flame blasted the keyhole with as much fire as she could generate. The lock buckled and the door caught fire, and Flame hurled herself against it. She felt the heavy obstacle move before she was pushed back, and went in for a second assault. On the third try, Flame burst out into the corridor.
‘Enough!’ she growled. ‘Daddy, I want a word with you!’
‘Hello, Sir Charash,’ said Flame. ‘Congratulations on your recent knighthood, and on your newly elevated position in Toasting-Forkney.’
‘Thank you, Your Highness,’ said Sir Charash. ‘Um… what is this place?’
‘It’s a fruit cellar,’ said Flame.
‘Ah, so that’s why it smells of apples,’ said Charash. ‘Do you have any idea why we’re here?’
‘Stepmother Griddle has locked us in together,’ said Flame.
‘Oh, I see,’ said Charash. ‘Why has she done that?’
‘To force us to spend some time together - she wants us to get married.’
‘Oh… so that’s what she was talking about after the meeting!’
‘Yes, she seems very keen on the idea of uniting the kingdoms of Camelhot and Toasting-Forkney,’ said Flame, running her hands around the edge of the door. ‘That arrangement really doesn’t fit in with my plans, though, and I’m sure it doesn’t fit in with yours either… so it won’t be happening.’
‘Are things really that simple?’ asked Charash. ‘I mean, if Aunty Griddle really wants this, what can we do to change her mind?’
‘Foiling her carefully laid plan doesn’t necessarily mean changing her mind,’ said Flame. ‘It might be necessary to remove a vital part of the plan instead. By the way, we were all sorry to hear about Sir Agraflame - your parents must be very upset.’
‘Well, they are, but they both pretty much gave up on Agraflame a long time ago,’ said Charash. ‘My father says I’m a much more suitable heir than Agraflame, because I’m not evil.’
‘That is a very important factor in your favour, Charash,’ said Flame, facing the door and staring down at the keyhole. ‘Now, would you mind if I got us out of here?’
‘Not at all, Your Highness,’ said Charash. ‘If that’s what you want to do.’
‘Believe me,’ said Flame, ‘that most definitely is what I want to do!’
The sound of roaring flame filled the fruit cellar as Princess Flame blasted the keyhole with as much fire as she could generate. The lock buckled and the door caught fire, and Flame hurled herself against it. She felt the heavy obstacle move before she was pushed back, and went in for a second assault. On the third try, Flame burst out into the corridor.
‘Enough!’ she growled. ‘Daddy, I want a word with you!’
‘Have you got that, Chancellor?’ asked King Allfire.
‘I think so, Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor, reading back over what he had just written. ‘To Do: Think of a better name than “label” for a label (heraldic device).’
‘That’s it,’ said King Allfire. ‘Marvellous.’
‘Daddy!’
‘Hello, Puff,’ said Allfire, as Flame stormed into the room. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘You can do for me what you should’ve done for me several years ago!’ said Flame. ‘You can knight Flicker and let me marry him, and then we’ll both be extremely happy and Stepmother Griddle will have to stop trying to marry me off to random people!’
‘My dear,’ said King Allfire, ‘remember your recently acquired patience…’
‘I’ve been patient!’ Flame fumed. ‘I’ve been more patient than anyone could reasonably have expected me to be! But I am not going to hang around forever waiting for something that is never going to happen - my mother died doing that, and I’m not going to share her fate! Daddy, you’ve been making your enquiries and mulling things over and you’ve had long enough! Tell me right now whether you’re going to knight Flicker, or else!’
‘Or else what, Puff?’
‘Or else I’m going to do something really bad!’
‘Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor, ‘if you still want my advice on this matter, I’d urge you remember my earlier recommendation in relation to your daughter.’
‘Thank you, Chancellor, but I’ll handle this in my own way,’ said King Allfire, frowning slightly. ‘Flame, no one has the right to issue an ultimatum to a king - not even you! As I told you before, I shall make my decision - and let you know what it is - in my own time…’
‘You’ve had more time than you could possibly need!’ Flame roared. ‘Tell me you’re going to knight Flicker, Daddy - tell me now, or you will regret it!’
‘Flame, I want you to go to your room and think about how a princess should conduct herself,’ said King Allfire. ‘When you have calmed down, I shall -’
‘That’s it!’ Flame screamed. ‘That was your last chance!’
‘Flame, as your father and as your king, I order you to go to your room!’
‘NO!’
There was a sudden flurry of movement, and a table went crashing to the floor. King Allfire and the Chancellor barely had time to open their mouths to object before several bookshelves were being torn from the walls.
‘My records!’ the Chancellor cried in dismay.
‘Flame, what do you think you’re doing?’ King Allfire demanded.
‘I told you I’d do something bad!’ Flame replied, running over to the window. ‘Flicker is Camelhot’s greatest and noblest warrior - tell me that you’re going to give him the recognition he deserves!’
‘Flame, I can’t just…’
Allfire’s words were drowned out by Flame’s screams and sobs, then the sound of ripping curtain material filled the room.
‘Oh,’ said the Chancellor, ‘my curtains!’
Flame tore the curtains to pieces with her claws and teeth, before turning her attention to a large book entitled Code of Chivalry that was standing on a lectern nearby.
‘Now, Puff,’ King Allfire said uncertainly, ‘don’t do anything you’ll regret later.’
‘I’m never going to let myself be in a position to regret anything ever again!’ Flame yelled. ‘The only thing I regret is that I’ve been forced to live my life under the cruel oppression of the rules in this book!’
‘But Flame,’ said King Allfire, ‘it’s the Code!’
‘Hang the stupid code!’ Flame roared. ‘In fact, blast the stupid code!’
With that, Flame unleashed a colossal stream of fire at the Code of Chivalry, which flared up at once and began to burn away. Flame turned on her heel and stormed from the room, leaving King Allfire and the Chancellor gaping after her.
‘I… I can’t believe it,’ said King Allfire. ‘I simply can’t believe it.’
‘Your… Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor, ‘do not despair - I have several back-up copies of the Code of Chivalry.’
‘That’s not the point,’ said King Allfire. ‘Don’t you see, Chancellor? Flame destroyed the Code of Chivalry, and in doing so… she might as well have destroyed Camelhot.’
‘I think so, Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor, reading back over what he had just written. ‘To Do: Think of a better name than “label” for a label (heraldic device).’
‘That’s it,’ said King Allfire. ‘Marvellous.’
‘Daddy!’
‘Hello, Puff,’ said Allfire, as Flame stormed into the room. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘You can do for me what you should’ve done for me several years ago!’ said Flame. ‘You can knight Flicker and let me marry him, and then we’ll both be extremely happy and Stepmother Griddle will have to stop trying to marry me off to random people!’
‘My dear,’ said King Allfire, ‘remember your recently acquired patience…’
‘I’ve been patient!’ Flame fumed. ‘I’ve been more patient than anyone could reasonably have expected me to be! But I am not going to hang around forever waiting for something that is never going to happen - my mother died doing that, and I’m not going to share her fate! Daddy, you’ve been making your enquiries and mulling things over and you’ve had long enough! Tell me right now whether you’re going to knight Flicker, or else!’
‘Or else what, Puff?’
‘Or else I’m going to do something really bad!’
‘Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor, ‘if you still want my advice on this matter, I’d urge you remember my earlier recommendation in relation to your daughter.’
‘Thank you, Chancellor, but I’ll handle this in my own way,’ said King Allfire, frowning slightly. ‘Flame, no one has the right to issue an ultimatum to a king - not even you! As I told you before, I shall make my decision - and let you know what it is - in my own time…’
‘You’ve had more time than you could possibly need!’ Flame roared. ‘Tell me you’re going to knight Flicker, Daddy - tell me now, or you will regret it!’
‘Flame, I want you to go to your room and think about how a princess should conduct herself,’ said King Allfire. ‘When you have calmed down, I shall -’
‘That’s it!’ Flame screamed. ‘That was your last chance!’
‘Flame, as your father and as your king, I order you to go to your room!’
‘NO!’
There was a sudden flurry of movement, and a table went crashing to the floor. King Allfire and the Chancellor barely had time to open their mouths to object before several bookshelves were being torn from the walls.
‘My records!’ the Chancellor cried in dismay.
‘Flame, what do you think you’re doing?’ King Allfire demanded.
‘I told you I’d do something bad!’ Flame replied, running over to the window. ‘Flicker is Camelhot’s greatest and noblest warrior - tell me that you’re going to give him the recognition he deserves!’
‘Flame, I can’t just…’
Allfire’s words were drowned out by Flame’s screams and sobs, then the sound of ripping curtain material filled the room.
‘Oh,’ said the Chancellor, ‘my curtains!’
Flame tore the curtains to pieces with her claws and teeth, before turning her attention to a large book entitled Code of Chivalry that was standing on a lectern nearby.
‘Now, Puff,’ King Allfire said uncertainly, ‘don’t do anything you’ll regret later.’
‘I’m never going to let myself be in a position to regret anything ever again!’ Flame yelled. ‘The only thing I regret is that I’ve been forced to live my life under the cruel oppression of the rules in this book!’
‘But Flame,’ said King Allfire, ‘it’s the Code!’
‘Hang the stupid code!’ Flame roared. ‘In fact, blast the stupid code!’
With that, Flame unleashed a colossal stream of fire at the Code of Chivalry, which flared up at once and began to burn away. Flame turned on her heel and stormed from the room, leaving King Allfire and the Chancellor gaping after her.
‘I… I can’t believe it,’ said King Allfire. ‘I simply can’t believe it.’
‘Your… Your Majesty,’ said the Chancellor, ‘do not despair - I have several back-up copies of the Code of Chivalry.’
‘That’s not the point,’ said King Allfire. ‘Don’t you see, Chancellor? Flame destroyed the Code of Chivalry, and in doing so… she might as well have destroyed Camelhot.’
Flicker was sitting on a chair and darning one of Sir Loungelot’s tunics when Flame came bursting into his workshop, breathing heavily and wearing a dark look.
‘Hello, Flame,’ Flicker said uncertainly. ‘I was hoping I’d see you so I could, er…’
‘Yes?’
‘Well… I was going to ask you for some tips on sewing, but that’s not important right now.’ He bundled the tunic, needle and thread onto the floor and got to his feet. ‘Are you all right?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘But I will be in a minute. We’re going.’
‘We’re… what?’
‘I’ve told you, Flicker! I’ve waited and waited and waited for my father to knight you, and it simply is not happening! Just now I went to ask him about it again, and he turned round and said I couldn’t tell him what to do because he was the King, and he was never going to knight you!’
‘Did he really say that?’ asked Flicker, looking stricken.
‘Well… not in so many words, but Flicker, can’t you see? If it was going to happen, it would have by now, after all my efforts and his empty promises. It’s too late. The time has been and gone, and what’s more, Stepmother Griddle is now determined that I should marry Sir Charash.’
‘Marry Sir Charash? Oh, but surely the King wouldn’t -’
‘I can’t depend on my father for anything anymore!’ said Flame. ‘A couple of years ago the man walked me down the aisle to marry a giant chicken, for crying out loud! And you remember that jousting tournament, don’t you? He let it go ahead because Queen Griddle was “in a bit of a mood”! His
words! Flicker, we have to leave!’
‘But Flame… the Code…’
Her expression darkened. ‘I hate the code.’
‘Well, I don’t,’ said Flicker, frowning.
‘I know you don’t. You’ve always put the code before me, haven’t you?’
‘No I have not! I’ve only once gone against the Code of Chivalry, Flame, and that was for you. You just mentioned it yourself - the joust for your hand. Remember the Pink - er - White Knight who left a red sock in with the wash? I know I refused to do it at first, but I did it in the end, and I’ll thank you not to forget it.’
Flame sighed, took a moment to calm herself and then said, ‘Of course I haven’t forgotten, and I never will forget that, nor anything else you’ve done for me. Listen. I know the Code is important to you, but Flicker, you’re not a knight. It isn’t for you.’
‘It’s for everyone who wants to live -’
‘Oh, blazing dragons, don’t you understand? I need you!’ So saying Flame strode forwards, grabbed both of Flicker’s arms and pushed him up
against the wall. ‘I want you, and I’ve got to have you - heart, body and soul - and soon! Because above everything else, Flicker, I love you.’
‘Flame,’ said Flicker, ‘you shouldn’t say… we shouldn’t be… I mean… let’s just think about this reasonably for a minute.’
‘Oh, Flicker! I have loved you since the moment I clapped eyes on you. What could be more reasonable than to marry you? What you’re looking for isn’t here… and neither will I be, after tonight. I’m going, and I want you to come with me.’
Flicker looked at her for a moment. Then he let out a sigh, and said, ‘Where would we go?’
‘What about Northumberland?’ said Flame. ‘Your wicked stepmother is still living in your father’s house, isn’t she?’
‘Yes… as far as I know. But she hates me.’
‘So what? It’s your house by rights - we could turn her out.’
‘Oh, I couldn’t do that,’ said Flicker. ‘She’s got nowhere else to go. I refuse to punish her, no matter what she’s done, but I don’t really want to live with her either. Anyway, the house is hardly anything, especially compared to Camelhot. I can’t ask a princess to live there.’
Scowling, Flame said, ‘I don’t care about that, and anyway, I’m asking you. All right, look… what about Singetagel? Princess Solder is my best friend now, and she seems quite interested in our relationship. She could probably even persuade her father to knight you, if she reminds him about how you saved Ignatio’s egg. Yes, that’s it! We’ll go to Singetagel Castle!’
‘But Flame, we can’t impose -’
‘Oh, what is the matter with you?’ She dropped his arms, stepped rapidly away from him and turned her back. ‘You’re just making excuses not to run away with me.’
‘No, Flame, honestly I’m not. I’m just trying to be practical.’
‘Practical! Who cares about practical? I don’t! We’ll live in a cave if we have to! Flicker.’ She turned round, and her eyes bored into his. ‘If I asked you to fly out of that window with me right now, and never come back, would you do it?’
‘Of course,’ said Flicker. ‘I’d do anything for you.’
‘Why?’
‘Why?’
‘Yes, why?’
‘You know why.’
‘But I want to hear it!’ said Flame. ‘Why won’t you say it?’
‘I can’t say it here,’ said Flicker. ‘It’s not right. You’re the Princess, and I’m -’
‘I know what you are, and it’s a lot more than you’re given credit for. Your being a squire means nothing now, even if it did once make a difference! Look… I’m going to my room to fetch a few things, and then I’ll come back here. I am leaving this castle tonight, Flicker, no matter what. If you want to come with me, pack a bag and we’ll go together. If you’d rather stay here…’
With these words, her voice finally faltered. She turned away again, and made for the door. As she pulled it open, Flicker began to say, ‘Of course I -’
The last word was drowned as Flame slammed the door behind her. For a moment, Flicker stared at where she had been standing. Then he turned with a sigh, went to his bed and pulled a knapsack out from under it.
Outside the window, the sky was darkening and a rope was trailing from the turrets above, straining with the weight of Count Geoffrey’s Evil Spy as he slid down it to the ground.
‘Hello, Flame,’ Flicker said uncertainly. ‘I was hoping I’d see you so I could, er…’
‘Yes?’
‘Well… I was going to ask you for some tips on sewing, but that’s not important right now.’ He bundled the tunic, needle and thread onto the floor and got to his feet. ‘Are you all right?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘But I will be in a minute. We’re going.’
‘We’re… what?’
‘I’ve told you, Flicker! I’ve waited and waited and waited for my father to knight you, and it simply is not happening! Just now I went to ask him about it again, and he turned round and said I couldn’t tell him what to do because he was the King, and he was never going to knight you!’
‘Did he really say that?’ asked Flicker, looking stricken.
‘Well… not in so many words, but Flicker, can’t you see? If it was going to happen, it would have by now, after all my efforts and his empty promises. It’s too late. The time has been and gone, and what’s more, Stepmother Griddle is now determined that I should marry Sir Charash.’
‘Marry Sir Charash? Oh, but surely the King wouldn’t -’
‘I can’t depend on my father for anything anymore!’ said Flame. ‘A couple of years ago the man walked me down the aisle to marry a giant chicken, for crying out loud! And you remember that jousting tournament, don’t you? He let it go ahead because Queen Griddle was “in a bit of a mood”! His
words! Flicker, we have to leave!’
‘But Flame… the Code…’
Her expression darkened. ‘I hate the code.’
‘Well, I don’t,’ said Flicker, frowning.
‘I know you don’t. You’ve always put the code before me, haven’t you?’
‘No I have not! I’ve only once gone against the Code of Chivalry, Flame, and that was for you. You just mentioned it yourself - the joust for your hand. Remember the Pink - er - White Knight who left a red sock in with the wash? I know I refused to do it at first, but I did it in the end, and I’ll thank you not to forget it.’
Flame sighed, took a moment to calm herself and then said, ‘Of course I haven’t forgotten, and I never will forget that, nor anything else you’ve done for me. Listen. I know the Code is important to you, but Flicker, you’re not a knight. It isn’t for you.’
‘It’s for everyone who wants to live -’
‘Oh, blazing dragons, don’t you understand? I need you!’ So saying Flame strode forwards, grabbed both of Flicker’s arms and pushed him up
against the wall. ‘I want you, and I’ve got to have you - heart, body and soul - and soon! Because above everything else, Flicker, I love you.’
‘Flame,’ said Flicker, ‘you shouldn’t say… we shouldn’t be… I mean… let’s just think about this reasonably for a minute.’
‘Oh, Flicker! I have loved you since the moment I clapped eyes on you. What could be more reasonable than to marry you? What you’re looking for isn’t here… and neither will I be, after tonight. I’m going, and I want you to come with me.’
Flicker looked at her for a moment. Then he let out a sigh, and said, ‘Where would we go?’
‘What about Northumberland?’ said Flame. ‘Your wicked stepmother is still living in your father’s house, isn’t she?’
‘Yes… as far as I know. But she hates me.’
‘So what? It’s your house by rights - we could turn her out.’
‘Oh, I couldn’t do that,’ said Flicker. ‘She’s got nowhere else to go. I refuse to punish her, no matter what she’s done, but I don’t really want to live with her either. Anyway, the house is hardly anything, especially compared to Camelhot. I can’t ask a princess to live there.’
Scowling, Flame said, ‘I don’t care about that, and anyway, I’m asking you. All right, look… what about Singetagel? Princess Solder is my best friend now, and she seems quite interested in our relationship. She could probably even persuade her father to knight you, if she reminds him about how you saved Ignatio’s egg. Yes, that’s it! We’ll go to Singetagel Castle!’
‘But Flame, we can’t impose -’
‘Oh, what is the matter with you?’ She dropped his arms, stepped rapidly away from him and turned her back. ‘You’re just making excuses not to run away with me.’
‘No, Flame, honestly I’m not. I’m just trying to be practical.’
‘Practical! Who cares about practical? I don’t! We’ll live in a cave if we have to! Flicker.’ She turned round, and her eyes bored into his. ‘If I asked you to fly out of that window with me right now, and never come back, would you do it?’
‘Of course,’ said Flicker. ‘I’d do anything for you.’
‘Why?’
‘Why?’
‘Yes, why?’
‘You know why.’
‘But I want to hear it!’ said Flame. ‘Why won’t you say it?’
‘I can’t say it here,’ said Flicker. ‘It’s not right. You’re the Princess, and I’m -’
‘I know what you are, and it’s a lot more than you’re given credit for. Your being a squire means nothing now, even if it did once make a difference! Look… I’m going to my room to fetch a few things, and then I’ll come back here. I am leaving this castle tonight, Flicker, no matter what. If you want to come with me, pack a bag and we’ll go together. If you’d rather stay here…’
With these words, her voice finally faltered. She turned away again, and made for the door. As she pulled it open, Flicker began to say, ‘Of course I -’
The last word was drowned as Flame slammed the door behind her. For a moment, Flicker stared at where she had been standing. Then he turned with a sigh, went to his bed and pulled a knapsack out from under it.
Outside the window, the sky was darkening and a rope was trailing from the turrets above, straining with the weight of Count Geoffrey’s Evil Spy as he slid down it to the ground.
In Castle Threadbare, Count Geoffrey stood scowling at Evil Knights Numbers One and Three, who were clutching each other and sobbing.
‘When are you two going to stop snivelling?’ said Geoffrey. ‘You’ve been moping around the place for weeks!’
‘We can’t help it, dread Count Geoffrey!’ said Evil Knight Number One.
‘We miss Evil Knight Number Two!’ sobbed Evil Knight Number Three.
Geoffrey said nothing else, but was still scowling at them when the Evil Spy ran into the room and whispered something into his ear.
‘Hmm,’ said Count Geoffrey, his brow furrowing in thought. ‘Princess Flame wandering the castle grounds at night, with a view to running away, you say! Well, well, well! That’s an opportunity too good to miss, isn’t it, boys?’
Evil Knights Numbers One and Three gazed dolefully up at him, sniffling.
‘Oh, pull yourselves together!’ said Geoffrey. ‘I have a plan!’
‘When are you two going to stop snivelling?’ said Geoffrey. ‘You’ve been moping around the place for weeks!’
‘We can’t help it, dread Count Geoffrey!’ said Evil Knight Number One.
‘We miss Evil Knight Number Two!’ sobbed Evil Knight Number Three.
Geoffrey said nothing else, but was still scowling at them when the Evil Spy ran into the room and whispered something into his ear.
‘Hmm,’ said Count Geoffrey, his brow furrowing in thought. ‘Princess Flame wandering the castle grounds at night, with a view to running away, you say! Well, well, well! That’s an opportunity too good to miss, isn’t it, boys?’
Evil Knights Numbers One and Three gazed dolefully up at him, sniffling.
‘Oh, pull yourselves together!’ said Geoffrey. ‘I have a plan!’
Flame was feverishly pulling all of the clothes out of her wardrobe when someone knocked on her door. She froze, a look of panic coming into her eyes. Then she called tentatively, ‘Who is it?’
‘It’s Blaze,’ her stepbrother’s voice called back.
‘Oh… all right, come in.’
As the door opened, Flame stepped back from the pile of clothes and looked guiltily at Blaze. He stared at the mass of dresses at her feet for a moment, bewildered. Then his eyes moved up to her face. Finally, he said, ‘What are you doing?’
‘Nothing,’ said Flame. ‘What do you want?’
‘Mumsey’s looking for you.’
Flame snorted. ‘Why? So she can ask me if I got Sir Charash to show me his sword while we were locked in the fruit cellar? Does she want to know if I ran my finger up and down it and said, “Ooh, Sir Charash, what a lovely big sword you’ve got”?’
‘Something like that, I think,’ said Blaze. ‘What’s going on in here, sis?’
‘I told you - nothing. I’m just… having a clear-out.’
‘I see. Are you going to throw away that bag on your bed, or keep it?’
Flame’s eyes slid over to her bed, where a small bag sat open and ready to receive a few carefully chosen belongings. Then suddenly her thunderous expression returned; she kicked at the pile of dresses and said, ‘Oh, I don’t know! Maybe I should just marry Sir Charash like Stepmother Griddle wants me to! That would solve everything once and for all, wouldn’t it? Then at least I’d know I had no chance at happiness!’
‘Flame, really!’ said Blaze. ‘What is the matter with you? You’re going to marry Flicker, surely.’
‘Oh, we’re talking openly about that now, are we? Well, maybe I’m not going to marry Flicker. How can I, if Daddy won’t knight him, and he won’t…?’
She cut herself off and turned her face away from Blaze, tears shining in her eyes.
‘Sis,’ said Blaze, sitting down on the edge of the bed. ‘I don’t think you’re being entirely rational.’
Again, Flame snorted. ‘Rational. Practical. Right!’
‘Come over here and tell me all about it,’ said Blaze, patting the mattress. Flame obeyed, and when she was seated he went on, ‘What is it that Flicker won’t do?’
‘Well,’ said Flame, ‘for one thing, he won’t say that he loves me.’
‘Well of course he won’t - not yet. But you know he does love you, don’t you?’
‘Really? How do I know that?’
‘Because it’s obvious! Flame, I’m not stupid. I can see what’s going on here, and there’s a chance I might have overheard a little bit of the conversation you and Flicker were having in the cupboard that time. He’s agreed to run away with you, hasn’t he?’
‘I’m not really sure,’ said Flame. ‘But yes, all right, I asked him. I think he said he’d come, but I sort of… stormed out… in a bit of a huff.’ She looked sheepish.
‘I know that if you left Camelhot,’ said Blaze, ‘Flicker would go with you, and he wouldn’t if he didn’t love you. You know he came here seeking knighthood. He certainly didn’t intend to fall in love with the Princess, but now that he has, he’s prepared to throw away his whole life for you. All his dreams… everything he’s worked for…’
‘He’s not throwing anything away,’ said Flame. ‘There’s nothing for him here! My father won’t knight him!’
‘He might.’
‘He won’t!’
‘Flame,’ said Blaze. ‘Let me ask you a question. Why do you love Flicker?’
‘Why?’ said Flame. ‘Well, let’s see. He’s honest, and brave, and chivalrous, and kind, and… we could be here for a while if I go on. Why did you ask me that, Blaze?’
‘To remind you that if you love him, you have to love all the things about him. Those qualities you listed are all well and good, but what about the things that you feel are holding you back? His total and unconditional faith in the Code of Chivalry; his determination to do what’s right; his unerring belief that he’ll one day be a Knight of the Square Table, no matter how hopeless it might seem at times. You’re asking him to give all that up, and he’s going to, for you. And just what are you sacrificing for him, I wonder?’
‘Well… Camelhot, obviously.’
‘Oh? You wanted that very badly, did you?’
‘Oh, shut up,’ said Flame. ‘I’ve told you, my father is not going to knight Flicker. It’s better for him to give his dream up for me than give me up for something that’s never going to happen.’
‘But it is going to happen!’ said Blaze. ‘I’m sure of it. Flame, think of Flicker when he’s talking about his dream of becoming a knight. Think of the look in his eyes. You can see how much it means to him.’
‘Yes,’ said Flame, ‘I can. But Blaze, we’ve been waiting such a long time. Recently I’ve reminded Flicker and my father of what happened to my mother. I can’t let it happen to me. I still want to see Flicker knighted, and to rule Camelhot with him some day, just like I always have… and perhaps always will. How am I supposed to know when I’ve waited too long?’
‘Well,’ said Blaze, ‘that’s a toughie. But you’re forgetting something else.’
‘Oh, and what’s that?’
‘Your father loves you, more than anything else in the world, and he wants you to be happy. And I love you too, sis. I don’t want you to go. Why, if worst comes to worst, I’ll marry you to keep Mumsey quiet and then when you’re Queen, I’ll get myself lost at sea or something, and you can knight
Flicker yourself and marry him then.’
Flame laughed a little, and said, ‘You never know, I might just hold you to that. Oh, all right, fine! I won’t run away just yet.’ She got to her feet. ‘I’d better go and tell Flicker it’s all off, for now at least, and I want to say sorry for getting huffy at him.’
‘Good girl,’ said Blaze, smiling. ‘And I’ll tell Mumsey you’ve gone to bed, shall I?’
‘Please.’
Flame went to the window and flew out into the night. Blaze looked at the crumpled dresses on the floor, tutting and shaking his head, then exited the
room via the door.
‘It’s Blaze,’ her stepbrother’s voice called back.
‘Oh… all right, come in.’
As the door opened, Flame stepped back from the pile of clothes and looked guiltily at Blaze. He stared at the mass of dresses at her feet for a moment, bewildered. Then his eyes moved up to her face. Finally, he said, ‘What are you doing?’
‘Nothing,’ said Flame. ‘What do you want?’
‘Mumsey’s looking for you.’
Flame snorted. ‘Why? So she can ask me if I got Sir Charash to show me his sword while we were locked in the fruit cellar? Does she want to know if I ran my finger up and down it and said, “Ooh, Sir Charash, what a lovely big sword you’ve got”?’
‘Something like that, I think,’ said Blaze. ‘What’s going on in here, sis?’
‘I told you - nothing. I’m just… having a clear-out.’
‘I see. Are you going to throw away that bag on your bed, or keep it?’
Flame’s eyes slid over to her bed, where a small bag sat open and ready to receive a few carefully chosen belongings. Then suddenly her thunderous expression returned; she kicked at the pile of dresses and said, ‘Oh, I don’t know! Maybe I should just marry Sir Charash like Stepmother Griddle wants me to! That would solve everything once and for all, wouldn’t it? Then at least I’d know I had no chance at happiness!’
‘Flame, really!’ said Blaze. ‘What is the matter with you? You’re going to marry Flicker, surely.’
‘Oh, we’re talking openly about that now, are we? Well, maybe I’m not going to marry Flicker. How can I, if Daddy won’t knight him, and he won’t…?’
She cut herself off and turned her face away from Blaze, tears shining in her eyes.
‘Sis,’ said Blaze, sitting down on the edge of the bed. ‘I don’t think you’re being entirely rational.’
Again, Flame snorted. ‘Rational. Practical. Right!’
‘Come over here and tell me all about it,’ said Blaze, patting the mattress. Flame obeyed, and when she was seated he went on, ‘What is it that Flicker won’t do?’
‘Well,’ said Flame, ‘for one thing, he won’t say that he loves me.’
‘Well of course he won’t - not yet. But you know he does love you, don’t you?’
‘Really? How do I know that?’
‘Because it’s obvious! Flame, I’m not stupid. I can see what’s going on here, and there’s a chance I might have overheard a little bit of the conversation you and Flicker were having in the cupboard that time. He’s agreed to run away with you, hasn’t he?’
‘I’m not really sure,’ said Flame. ‘But yes, all right, I asked him. I think he said he’d come, but I sort of… stormed out… in a bit of a huff.’ She looked sheepish.
‘I know that if you left Camelhot,’ said Blaze, ‘Flicker would go with you, and he wouldn’t if he didn’t love you. You know he came here seeking knighthood. He certainly didn’t intend to fall in love with the Princess, but now that he has, he’s prepared to throw away his whole life for you. All his dreams… everything he’s worked for…’
‘He’s not throwing anything away,’ said Flame. ‘There’s nothing for him here! My father won’t knight him!’
‘He might.’
‘He won’t!’
‘Flame,’ said Blaze. ‘Let me ask you a question. Why do you love Flicker?’
‘Why?’ said Flame. ‘Well, let’s see. He’s honest, and brave, and chivalrous, and kind, and… we could be here for a while if I go on. Why did you ask me that, Blaze?’
‘To remind you that if you love him, you have to love all the things about him. Those qualities you listed are all well and good, but what about the things that you feel are holding you back? His total and unconditional faith in the Code of Chivalry; his determination to do what’s right; his unerring belief that he’ll one day be a Knight of the Square Table, no matter how hopeless it might seem at times. You’re asking him to give all that up, and he’s going to, for you. And just what are you sacrificing for him, I wonder?’
‘Well… Camelhot, obviously.’
‘Oh? You wanted that very badly, did you?’
‘Oh, shut up,’ said Flame. ‘I’ve told you, my father is not going to knight Flicker. It’s better for him to give his dream up for me than give me up for something that’s never going to happen.’
‘But it is going to happen!’ said Blaze. ‘I’m sure of it. Flame, think of Flicker when he’s talking about his dream of becoming a knight. Think of the look in his eyes. You can see how much it means to him.’
‘Yes,’ said Flame, ‘I can. But Blaze, we’ve been waiting such a long time. Recently I’ve reminded Flicker and my father of what happened to my mother. I can’t let it happen to me. I still want to see Flicker knighted, and to rule Camelhot with him some day, just like I always have… and perhaps always will. How am I supposed to know when I’ve waited too long?’
‘Well,’ said Blaze, ‘that’s a toughie. But you’re forgetting something else.’
‘Oh, and what’s that?’
‘Your father loves you, more than anything else in the world, and he wants you to be happy. And I love you too, sis. I don’t want you to go. Why, if worst comes to worst, I’ll marry you to keep Mumsey quiet and then when you’re Queen, I’ll get myself lost at sea or something, and you can knight
Flicker yourself and marry him then.’
Flame laughed a little, and said, ‘You never know, I might just hold you to that. Oh, all right, fine! I won’t run away just yet.’ She got to her feet. ‘I’d better go and tell Flicker it’s all off, for now at least, and I want to say sorry for getting huffy at him.’
‘Good girl,’ said Blaze, smiling. ‘And I’ll tell Mumsey you’ve gone to bed, shall I?’
‘Please.’
Flame went to the window and flew out into the night. Blaze looked at the crumpled dresses on the floor, tutting and shaking his head, then exited the
room via the door.
Flame felt the ground beneath her feet, so she stopped flying. Something did not feel right, however - she could have sworn that she was standing on some kind of wooden surface rather than the stones of the courtyard. She looked down and saw that she appeared to be floating a few feet above the ground. Just as she was deciding that something strange was going on and that she should probably move, Flame heard a loud slam above her head.
‘Heh-heh-heh! We’ve got her, boys!’
Flame looked up to see a metal roof blocking her view of the sky above. She looked back down to see that she was standing in a wooden cage, which appeared to be mounted on wheels.
‘Blazing dragons,’ said Flame, ‘an invisible cage!’
‘Yes, and you flew right into it, Princess,’ said Count Geoffrey, emerging from the shadows. ‘My trap could not have worked more perfectly - I feel just like a spider!’
‘You really are very stupid, Geoffrey, aren’t you?’ Flame snarled. ‘What is the point of trapping a dragon in a wooden cage? If you’re going to bother doing that, you should at least chain her jaws shut first!’
‘Ah, but that isn’t necessary in this case,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘Merle has enchanted this particular cage to make sure that you can’t escape from it! Go ahead, try burning it - it won’t do you any good!’
Flame scowled, and unleashed a sheet of fire at the wooden bars in front of her. Count Geoffrey’s expression of cool confidence melted away as the cage flared up. There was a cracking sound, and then Flame emerged from the inferno. With a murderous look on her face, she marched straight up to Geoffrey, grabbed the front of his tunic and hoisted him into the air.
‘Hey!’ he squeaked. ‘This is hardly appropriate behaviour for a princess, is it?’
‘Do you have any idea what kind of a day I’ve had?’ Flame roared, shaking Geoffrey violently. ‘No, you don’t, do you? And you don’t care either! You just come barging in here with your invisible cage and your evil scheme and you expect me to fall in with your plans! Well I’m not doing it, do you hear me? You’re just like my father!’
‘I… I am?’ said Count Geoffrey.
‘Yes!’ Flame declared. ‘And Stepmother Griddle! Don’t any of you realise that I have my own mind? For too long now I’ve been forced to do what others expect of me, or at least be seen to do it, but not anymore! I am the master of my own fate - not my father, not my stepmother, and certainly not you, Count Geoffrey! I simply won’t have it! I’m -’
Two resounding cracks rang out and Flame pitched forward, collapsing against Count Geoffrey; he was forced to catch her awkwardly in his arms. Peering over Flame’s shoulder, Geoffrey saw Evil Knights Numbers One and Three, each with a heavy cudgel in his hand.
‘Did we do the right thing, dread Count Geoffrey?’ asked Evil Knight Number Three.
‘You did,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘You did exactly the right thing - well done, boys!’
‘I didn’t think I’d ever hear you say that, Count Geoffrey,’ said Evil Knight Number One.
‘Believe me, neither did I,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘But this time, just for once, you’ve done yourselves proud. Heh-heh-heh! Foolish girl - if she’d run away or attacked me as soon as she was free, I wouldn’t have been able to do a thing to stop her. But she decided to hang around and vent her
spleen at me, and that - ultimately - will prove to be Camelhot’s undoing! Now, quickly - tie up her arms, legs, wings and snout, and let’s get her out of
here.’
‘Can we still rescue Evil Knight Number Two?’ asked Evil Knight Number Three. ‘You did say we could try while we were here, Count Geoffrey.’
‘Hmm… on the whole, I think we’d better not,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘If Merle’s magic cage had worked, we could have left it - and our guest - a little way outside the gates while we rescued Number Two… but now we’re going to have to carry her, and I’d like to get back to Castle Threadbare before she wakes up.’
‘But we really wanted to get Number Two out,’ said Evil Knight Number One. ‘He must be cold and lonely down in that dungeon.’
‘How touching,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘But don’t worry - we’ll rescue him very soon. After all, when Camelhot belongs to me, I can just waltz on down there and let him out, can’t I? And Camelhot will belong to me, very soon indeed. Heh-heh-heh-heh!’
‘Heh-heh-heh! We’ve got her, boys!’
Flame looked up to see a metal roof blocking her view of the sky above. She looked back down to see that she was standing in a wooden cage, which appeared to be mounted on wheels.
‘Blazing dragons,’ said Flame, ‘an invisible cage!’
‘Yes, and you flew right into it, Princess,’ said Count Geoffrey, emerging from the shadows. ‘My trap could not have worked more perfectly - I feel just like a spider!’
‘You really are very stupid, Geoffrey, aren’t you?’ Flame snarled. ‘What is the point of trapping a dragon in a wooden cage? If you’re going to bother doing that, you should at least chain her jaws shut first!’
‘Ah, but that isn’t necessary in this case,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘Merle has enchanted this particular cage to make sure that you can’t escape from it! Go ahead, try burning it - it won’t do you any good!’
Flame scowled, and unleashed a sheet of fire at the wooden bars in front of her. Count Geoffrey’s expression of cool confidence melted away as the cage flared up. There was a cracking sound, and then Flame emerged from the inferno. With a murderous look on her face, she marched straight up to Geoffrey, grabbed the front of his tunic and hoisted him into the air.
‘Hey!’ he squeaked. ‘This is hardly appropriate behaviour for a princess, is it?’
‘Do you have any idea what kind of a day I’ve had?’ Flame roared, shaking Geoffrey violently. ‘No, you don’t, do you? And you don’t care either! You just come barging in here with your invisible cage and your evil scheme and you expect me to fall in with your plans! Well I’m not doing it, do you hear me? You’re just like my father!’
‘I… I am?’ said Count Geoffrey.
‘Yes!’ Flame declared. ‘And Stepmother Griddle! Don’t any of you realise that I have my own mind? For too long now I’ve been forced to do what others expect of me, or at least be seen to do it, but not anymore! I am the master of my own fate - not my father, not my stepmother, and certainly not you, Count Geoffrey! I simply won’t have it! I’m -’
Two resounding cracks rang out and Flame pitched forward, collapsing against Count Geoffrey; he was forced to catch her awkwardly in his arms. Peering over Flame’s shoulder, Geoffrey saw Evil Knights Numbers One and Three, each with a heavy cudgel in his hand.
‘Did we do the right thing, dread Count Geoffrey?’ asked Evil Knight Number Three.
‘You did,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘You did exactly the right thing - well done, boys!’
‘I didn’t think I’d ever hear you say that, Count Geoffrey,’ said Evil Knight Number One.
‘Believe me, neither did I,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘But this time, just for once, you’ve done yourselves proud. Heh-heh-heh! Foolish girl - if she’d run away or attacked me as soon as she was free, I wouldn’t have been able to do a thing to stop her. But she decided to hang around and vent her
spleen at me, and that - ultimately - will prove to be Camelhot’s undoing! Now, quickly - tie up her arms, legs, wings and snout, and let’s get her out of
here.’
‘Can we still rescue Evil Knight Number Two?’ asked Evil Knight Number Three. ‘You did say we could try while we were here, Count Geoffrey.’
‘Hmm… on the whole, I think we’d better not,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘If Merle’s magic cage had worked, we could have left it - and our guest - a little way outside the gates while we rescued Number Two… but now we’re going to have to carry her, and I’d like to get back to Castle Threadbare before she wakes up.’
‘But we really wanted to get Number Two out,’ said Evil Knight Number One. ‘He must be cold and lonely down in that dungeon.’
‘How touching,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘But don’t worry - we’ll rescue him very soon. After all, when Camelhot belongs to me, I can just waltz on down there and let him out, can’t I? And Camelhot will belong to me, very soon indeed. Heh-heh-heh-heh!’
‘Ow!’ said Sir Loungelot, as a large clump of his hair came away with the brush in Flicker’s hand. ‘What is the matter with you today, Flicker?’
‘Nothing, Milord, sorry, Milord,’ said Flicker.
‘Now, I’m not having that. You’ve been abusing me all morning. Either you’re doing it on purpose, or something’s wrong.’
Flicker heaved an almighty sigh, and said, ‘I just don’t understand…’
‘What?’
‘Never mind.’
‘You know, I’m getting pretty fed up of all this lovesick squire malarkey,’ said Loungelot. ‘Just when is King Allfire going to knight you, anyway?’
‘I don’t know. Probably never.’
‘Never? Flicker, you’re not yourself. What’s happened?’
‘I don’t think I should say, Milord.’
‘All right,’ said Loungelot, frowning, ‘but if you’re not going to tell me, you’d better stop moping about and making a pig’s ear of all your work. We’re going down to breakfast now, all right?’
‘As My Lord wishes,’ said Flicker.
Loungelot shot him an exasperated look, then led the way down to the Great Hall, his squire trailing dejectedly at his heels. When they arrived at breakfast, everyone was seated except for Princess Flame, whose chair was empty. It was a moment before Flicker noticed this, but when he did he came out of his trance at once, and stared wide-eyed at the empty space to the left of King Allfire. In his turn, the King looked at Flicker, and relief washed over his face. Sir Blaze, meanwhile, swung his head from Flame’s empty seat to where Flicker stood. Loungelot had never seen anyone look more confused.
‘Flicker,’ he hissed, as they made their way to the knights’ table. ‘What is going on?’
‘I honestly don’t know,’ said Flicker, his gaze not leaving Flame’s empty seat even as he walked. Then King Allfire caught his eye, and he looked away.
‘Do have a care, Sir Charash, sir!’ Sir Galahot was saying, as Loungelot took his seat. ‘You’ll get ketchup all over your label!’
‘Oh dear, it gets everywhere!’ Charash fretted, wiping his fingers on the tablecloth.
‘Flicker!’ said Sir Blaze, grabbing Flicker’s elbow and pulling him violently away from Loungelot. ‘Where’s Flame?’
‘I don’t know,’ said Flicker. ‘She never… I don’t know!’
‘She never came back to your room last night?’ said Blaze. ‘Is that what you were going to say?’
‘Yes. How did you know?’
‘I happened to find her emptying her wardrobe last night, and I got her to tell me what was going on. I thought I’d talked her out of running away just yet, but then when she didn’t appear this morning, I thought you must have gone together as planned. Then you walked in looking like your cat had
just died, and now I don’t know what to think! You say she didn’t come back and see you at all?’
‘That’s right. Not at all.’
Blaze looked thoughtful for a moment. He was about to speak again when King Allfire called across the room, ‘I say, squire!’ Flicker turned and went to him at once.
‘I’ve honestly had enough of this,’ Loungelot said quietly to Charash. ‘Whose squire is he, anyway?’
‘What exactly is happening?’ asked Charash. ‘Why is everyone so keen to talk to Flicker, Sir Loungelot?’
‘Not everyone,’ said Loungelot. ‘Just Blaze and the King, and they want to know where the Princess is.’
‘But why should Flicker know that?’
‘Well, I might as well tell you. Everyone else seems to know… except perhaps the Queen. Flicker and the Princess have been in love with each other for a long time.’
‘Oh, I see,’ said Charash. ‘Well, that might explain what she said to me in that fruit cellar yesterday.’
Sir Hotbreath overheard this, and said, ‘What were you doing in the fruit cellar with the Princess?’
‘Nothing,’ said Charash. ‘The Queen locked us in together.’
‘Well, that’s just asking for trouble,’ said Sir Burnevere. ‘No wonder the Princess has decided to frighten her by going into hiding.’
‘Is that really what you think it is, Burnevere?’ asked Blaze. ‘She did say she was going to go and tell Flicker it was all off. I wonder why she never got there.’
‘Tell him what was all off, sir?’ asked Galahot.
Blaze hesitated for a moment. Then he leaned in closer to the other knights, and began, ‘Well…’
King Allfire, meanwhile, was discussing the topic with Flicker.
‘Do you know,’ he said, ‘I really thought, when I didn’t see Flame this morning, that she’d run off with you. But you wouldn’t go with her, would you, squire? I’ve noticed how rigidly you follow the Code of Chivalry - don’t think I haven’t! But look, Flicker, you wouldn’t happen to know where she is, would you?’
‘I’m afraid not, Your Majesty,’ said Flicker, sounding utterly sick.
‘Dear me, what a mess this has all become. Perhaps I should have just… Well, I daresay she’s hiding to teach me a lesson. She does things like that, you know. She even burnt the Code of Chivalry yesterday - I was quite beside myself!’
‘No! She didn’t really burn it, did she?’
‘Yes, she did! But you’d better get back to your master, squire - he’s shooting me dirty looks across the room.’
Flicker bowed, looking most perturbed, then trotted back to Sir Loungelot, who was waving his coffee cup impatiently in the air. Allfire watched him go, then turned back to his food, and found Queen Griddle glaring at him.
‘What was that all about?’ she said. ‘Why should a boot boy know where Flame is?’
‘He’s not a boot boy, Griddle,’ said Allfire. ‘Nobody here wears boots… except for Blaze sometimes. Now please, my dear, do not question me on this matter. I’ll tell you everything when the time is right.’
Over at the knights’ table, Loungelot was sipping on his coffee and looking sulkily over at Sir Blaze, who had once again commandeered Flicker.
‘So in conclusion,’ said Blaze, ‘people are leaping to the conclusion that Flame is just hiding to annoy Mumsey or the King, and nothing bad has happened to her.’
‘Perhaps no one wants to face the possibility that something has happened,’ said Flicker. ‘You know how people try to shape reality by deciding on something and convincing themselves it’s the truth.’
‘For all we know, it might be true,’ said Blaze. ‘But then why didn’t Flame go and talk to you again last night?’
‘I think I upset her. Maybe she… went without me.’
‘Oh, don’t be stupid. She wouldn’t do that just because you didn’t feel comfortable using the L-word while being inside Camelhot still confined you to status.’
Flicker looked uncomfortable. ‘Gosh, she really did tell you everything, didn’t she?’
‘Yes, which is why I’m completely baffled by her not being here. I think we should look for her after breakfast. If she is hiding, we’ll find her. If she isn’t…’
‘If she isn’t,’ said Flicker, ‘I’ll find her, or die trying.’
‘All right, good plan,’ Blaze said uncertainly, as Flicker ran off to refill Loungelot’s frantically waving coffee cup.
‘Nothing, Milord, sorry, Milord,’ said Flicker.
‘Now, I’m not having that. You’ve been abusing me all morning. Either you’re doing it on purpose, or something’s wrong.’
Flicker heaved an almighty sigh, and said, ‘I just don’t understand…’
‘What?’
‘Never mind.’
‘You know, I’m getting pretty fed up of all this lovesick squire malarkey,’ said Loungelot. ‘Just when is King Allfire going to knight you, anyway?’
‘I don’t know. Probably never.’
‘Never? Flicker, you’re not yourself. What’s happened?’
‘I don’t think I should say, Milord.’
‘All right,’ said Loungelot, frowning, ‘but if you’re not going to tell me, you’d better stop moping about and making a pig’s ear of all your work. We’re going down to breakfast now, all right?’
‘As My Lord wishes,’ said Flicker.
Loungelot shot him an exasperated look, then led the way down to the Great Hall, his squire trailing dejectedly at his heels. When they arrived at breakfast, everyone was seated except for Princess Flame, whose chair was empty. It was a moment before Flicker noticed this, but when he did he came out of his trance at once, and stared wide-eyed at the empty space to the left of King Allfire. In his turn, the King looked at Flicker, and relief washed over his face. Sir Blaze, meanwhile, swung his head from Flame’s empty seat to where Flicker stood. Loungelot had never seen anyone look more confused.
‘Flicker,’ he hissed, as they made their way to the knights’ table. ‘What is going on?’
‘I honestly don’t know,’ said Flicker, his gaze not leaving Flame’s empty seat even as he walked. Then King Allfire caught his eye, and he looked away.
‘Do have a care, Sir Charash, sir!’ Sir Galahot was saying, as Loungelot took his seat. ‘You’ll get ketchup all over your label!’
‘Oh dear, it gets everywhere!’ Charash fretted, wiping his fingers on the tablecloth.
‘Flicker!’ said Sir Blaze, grabbing Flicker’s elbow and pulling him violently away from Loungelot. ‘Where’s Flame?’
‘I don’t know,’ said Flicker. ‘She never… I don’t know!’
‘She never came back to your room last night?’ said Blaze. ‘Is that what you were going to say?’
‘Yes. How did you know?’
‘I happened to find her emptying her wardrobe last night, and I got her to tell me what was going on. I thought I’d talked her out of running away just yet, but then when she didn’t appear this morning, I thought you must have gone together as planned. Then you walked in looking like your cat had
just died, and now I don’t know what to think! You say she didn’t come back and see you at all?’
‘That’s right. Not at all.’
Blaze looked thoughtful for a moment. He was about to speak again when King Allfire called across the room, ‘I say, squire!’ Flicker turned and went to him at once.
‘I’ve honestly had enough of this,’ Loungelot said quietly to Charash. ‘Whose squire is he, anyway?’
‘What exactly is happening?’ asked Charash. ‘Why is everyone so keen to talk to Flicker, Sir Loungelot?’
‘Not everyone,’ said Loungelot. ‘Just Blaze and the King, and they want to know where the Princess is.’
‘But why should Flicker know that?’
‘Well, I might as well tell you. Everyone else seems to know… except perhaps the Queen. Flicker and the Princess have been in love with each other for a long time.’
‘Oh, I see,’ said Charash. ‘Well, that might explain what she said to me in that fruit cellar yesterday.’
Sir Hotbreath overheard this, and said, ‘What were you doing in the fruit cellar with the Princess?’
‘Nothing,’ said Charash. ‘The Queen locked us in together.’
‘Well, that’s just asking for trouble,’ said Sir Burnevere. ‘No wonder the Princess has decided to frighten her by going into hiding.’
‘Is that really what you think it is, Burnevere?’ asked Blaze. ‘She did say she was going to go and tell Flicker it was all off. I wonder why she never got there.’
‘Tell him what was all off, sir?’ asked Galahot.
Blaze hesitated for a moment. Then he leaned in closer to the other knights, and began, ‘Well…’
King Allfire, meanwhile, was discussing the topic with Flicker.
‘Do you know,’ he said, ‘I really thought, when I didn’t see Flame this morning, that she’d run off with you. But you wouldn’t go with her, would you, squire? I’ve noticed how rigidly you follow the Code of Chivalry - don’t think I haven’t! But look, Flicker, you wouldn’t happen to know where she is, would you?’
‘I’m afraid not, Your Majesty,’ said Flicker, sounding utterly sick.
‘Dear me, what a mess this has all become. Perhaps I should have just… Well, I daresay she’s hiding to teach me a lesson. She does things like that, you know. She even burnt the Code of Chivalry yesterday - I was quite beside myself!’
‘No! She didn’t really burn it, did she?’
‘Yes, she did! But you’d better get back to your master, squire - he’s shooting me dirty looks across the room.’
Flicker bowed, looking most perturbed, then trotted back to Sir Loungelot, who was waving his coffee cup impatiently in the air. Allfire watched him go, then turned back to his food, and found Queen Griddle glaring at him.
‘What was that all about?’ she said. ‘Why should a boot boy know where Flame is?’
‘He’s not a boot boy, Griddle,’ said Allfire. ‘Nobody here wears boots… except for Blaze sometimes. Now please, my dear, do not question me on this matter. I’ll tell you everything when the time is right.’
Over at the knights’ table, Loungelot was sipping on his coffee and looking sulkily over at Sir Blaze, who had once again commandeered Flicker.
‘So in conclusion,’ said Blaze, ‘people are leaping to the conclusion that Flame is just hiding to annoy Mumsey or the King, and nothing bad has happened to her.’
‘Perhaps no one wants to face the possibility that something has happened,’ said Flicker. ‘You know how people try to shape reality by deciding on something and convincing themselves it’s the truth.’
‘For all we know, it might be true,’ said Blaze. ‘But then why didn’t Flame go and talk to you again last night?’
‘I think I upset her. Maybe she… went without me.’
‘Oh, don’t be stupid. She wouldn’t do that just because you didn’t feel comfortable using the L-word while being inside Camelhot still confined you to status.’
Flicker looked uncomfortable. ‘Gosh, she really did tell you everything, didn’t she?’
‘Yes, which is why I’m completely baffled by her not being here. I think we should look for her after breakfast. If she is hiding, we’ll find her. If she isn’t…’
‘If she isn’t,’ said Flicker, ‘I’ll find her, or die trying.’
‘All right, good plan,’ Blaze said uncertainly, as Flicker ran off to refill Loungelot’s frantically waving coffee cup.
Evil Knights Numbers One and Three emerged from Castle Threadbare’s least tumbledown tower and bolted the door behind them.
‘So,’ said Count Geoffrey, ‘have you made our guest comfortable?’
‘We’ve chained her up with all the chains we could find,’ said Evil Knight Number One. ‘Don’t worry, she’s not going anywhere.’
‘She seems very groggy,’ said Evil Knight Number Three, ‘like she doesn’t really know what’s going on. Maybe we hit her too hard.’
‘She’s still alive, isn’t she?’ said Count Geoffrey.
‘Yes,’ said the two Evil Knights.
‘Then you didn’t hit her too hard,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘Now, you two are to stand there and guard that door with your lives until our backup arrives, okay?’
‘Yes, Count Geoffrey,’ said Evil Knight Number One.
‘Whatever you say, Count Geoffrey,’ said Evil Knight Number Three.
‘Heh-heh-heh, I can feel Camelhot within my grasp already!’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘All we need to do now is -’
‘Hi, Geoff. How did it go?’
Count Geoffrey whirled around to see a short, ugly figure standing a few feet away from him.
‘Ah, Merle, there you are,’ he said. ‘It went well - very well! Princess Flame is now my prisoner, and soon Camelhot will be mine! Are your - heh-heh-heh! - friends on their way to help us guard her?’
‘Yes, the Celts are on their way, for all the good they’re likely to do you,’ Merle sniffed. ‘I don’t know why you won’t hand the Princess over to me - I can put her somewhere far, far beyond the reach of those dragons!’
‘My castle will be far beyond their reach when I’ve got an army of hired butchers defending it!’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘Besides, I’ve rather lost faith in your magic, witch - that so-called escape-proof cage of yours just burst into flames when the Princess attacked it!’
‘No!’ Merle hissed. ‘No, it cannot be true! But it is true… I see that now.’
‘What’s true?’ asked Count Geoffrey.
‘Castle Camelhot - and all who live there - are now immune to my magic!’ Merle snarled. ‘I did not want to believe that this could happen… but it has.’
‘How?’ asked Count Geoffrey.
‘I gave the dragons my word that if Sir Blaze completed my quest, I would leave them alone forever,’ said Merle.
‘But you never keep your word!’
‘No more did I intend to this time, Geoff! But Camelhot is - and always has been - protected by some ancient magic that I do not fully understand. By giving my word to King Allfire within the castle’s walls, I seem to have shot myself in the foot; I can no longer use my magic against Camelhot, ever.’
‘Well, in that case,’ said Count Geoffrey, ‘you’re no longer any use to me, are you?’
‘Just as you, Geoff, are no use to me!’ Merle snarled. ‘What do you intend to do with your prisoner now?’
‘I shall ransom her, of course,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘In exchange for Camelhot, Allfire gets Princess Flame - neat and simple! The dragon knights won’t be able to rescue her without paying up - the Celts will see to that! This time, they can’t foil my plan; this time, I have those dragons just where I want them!’
‘So it would seem,’ said Merle. ‘But then appearances are sometimes deceptive, Geoff, aren’t they?’
‘Begone, witch! I’ve had more than enough of you!’
‘I’m going, and you won’t be seeing me again! But you should beware of overreliance on a single source of leverage, Geoff. You never know when an unexpected source of interference might turn up… and snap your lever right off!’
‘You’re not making any sense, Merle,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘Just get out of my castle, or I’ll throw you out!’
Merle said no more, but fixed Count Geoffrey with a superior smile as she melted away into the ether.
‘Loathsome old crone,’ muttered Count Geoffrey. ‘Let’s just hope we have seen the last of her. Now, I must find my writing case.’
‘What are you going to write, dread Count Geoffrey?’ asked Evil Knight Number Three.
‘A ransom note, of course!’ said Geoffrey. ‘And I’ll get my Evil Spy to deliver it to Camelhot just as soon as those Celts turn up. I’ve done it, boys - no one can stop me now!’
‘Wow,’ said Evil Knight Number One, ‘it’s really going to happen! After all this time, Camelhot is ours.’
‘No!’ snarled Count Geoffrey. ‘Mine.’
‘So,’ said Count Geoffrey, ‘have you made our guest comfortable?’
‘We’ve chained her up with all the chains we could find,’ said Evil Knight Number One. ‘Don’t worry, she’s not going anywhere.’
‘She seems very groggy,’ said Evil Knight Number Three, ‘like she doesn’t really know what’s going on. Maybe we hit her too hard.’
‘She’s still alive, isn’t she?’ said Count Geoffrey.
‘Yes,’ said the two Evil Knights.
‘Then you didn’t hit her too hard,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘Now, you two are to stand there and guard that door with your lives until our backup arrives, okay?’
‘Yes, Count Geoffrey,’ said Evil Knight Number One.
‘Whatever you say, Count Geoffrey,’ said Evil Knight Number Three.
‘Heh-heh-heh, I can feel Camelhot within my grasp already!’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘All we need to do now is -’
‘Hi, Geoff. How did it go?’
Count Geoffrey whirled around to see a short, ugly figure standing a few feet away from him.
‘Ah, Merle, there you are,’ he said. ‘It went well - very well! Princess Flame is now my prisoner, and soon Camelhot will be mine! Are your - heh-heh-heh! - friends on their way to help us guard her?’
‘Yes, the Celts are on their way, for all the good they’re likely to do you,’ Merle sniffed. ‘I don’t know why you won’t hand the Princess over to me - I can put her somewhere far, far beyond the reach of those dragons!’
‘My castle will be far beyond their reach when I’ve got an army of hired butchers defending it!’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘Besides, I’ve rather lost faith in your magic, witch - that so-called escape-proof cage of yours just burst into flames when the Princess attacked it!’
‘No!’ Merle hissed. ‘No, it cannot be true! But it is true… I see that now.’
‘What’s true?’ asked Count Geoffrey.
‘Castle Camelhot - and all who live there - are now immune to my magic!’ Merle snarled. ‘I did not want to believe that this could happen… but it has.’
‘How?’ asked Count Geoffrey.
‘I gave the dragons my word that if Sir Blaze completed my quest, I would leave them alone forever,’ said Merle.
‘But you never keep your word!’
‘No more did I intend to this time, Geoff! But Camelhot is - and always has been - protected by some ancient magic that I do not fully understand. By giving my word to King Allfire within the castle’s walls, I seem to have shot myself in the foot; I can no longer use my magic against Camelhot, ever.’
‘Well, in that case,’ said Count Geoffrey, ‘you’re no longer any use to me, are you?’
‘Just as you, Geoff, are no use to me!’ Merle snarled. ‘What do you intend to do with your prisoner now?’
‘I shall ransom her, of course,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘In exchange for Camelhot, Allfire gets Princess Flame - neat and simple! The dragon knights won’t be able to rescue her without paying up - the Celts will see to that! This time, they can’t foil my plan; this time, I have those dragons just where I want them!’
‘So it would seem,’ said Merle. ‘But then appearances are sometimes deceptive, Geoff, aren’t they?’
‘Begone, witch! I’ve had more than enough of you!’
‘I’m going, and you won’t be seeing me again! But you should beware of overreliance on a single source of leverage, Geoff. You never know when an unexpected source of interference might turn up… and snap your lever right off!’
‘You’re not making any sense, Merle,’ said Count Geoffrey. ‘Just get out of my castle, or I’ll throw you out!’
Merle said no more, but fixed Count Geoffrey with a superior smile as she melted away into the ether.
‘Loathsome old crone,’ muttered Count Geoffrey. ‘Let’s just hope we have seen the last of her. Now, I must find my writing case.’
‘What are you going to write, dread Count Geoffrey?’ asked Evil Knight Number Three.
‘A ransom note, of course!’ said Geoffrey. ‘And I’ll get my Evil Spy to deliver it to Camelhot just as soon as those Celts turn up. I’ve done it, boys - no one can stop me now!’
‘Wow,’ said Evil Knight Number One, ‘it’s really going to happen! After all this time, Camelhot is ours.’
‘No!’ snarled Count Geoffrey. ‘Mine.’
Flicker was walking along a corridor, looking sick with anxiety, when Sir Blaze popped out from behind a suit of armour.
‘Not in there,’ he said.
‘Sir Blaze,’ said Flicker. ‘You don’t really think that Flame would hide in a suit of armour just to annoy her father, do you?’
‘No, but we’re leaving no stone unturned, aren’t we?’
‘I don’t think she’s anywhere in the castle. Maybe she did run away without me… just to clear her head… and she’ll come back.’
‘Surely you’re not trying to shape reality with your thoughts, Flicker,’ said Blaze. ‘Flame definitely said she was going to see you, and you were expecting her to, weren’t you? I do think it might be search party time. Let’s go and find the King.’
They made their way to the Square Table chamber, where King Allfire was pacing up and down in front of the window. Queen Griddle was there too, sitting at the table and watching her husband with a look of concern. When Blaze and Flicker entered, Allfire stopped pacing and turned to face them.
‘Well?’ he said. ‘Have you found her yet?’
‘No sign, Your Majesty,’ said Blaze. ‘She doesn’t seem to be anywhere in the castle.’
As he spoke, Sir Loungelot and Sir Hotbreath entered the room, and both shook their heads helplessly at the King.
‘Right then,’ said Allfire. ‘The time for action has come. We need to get out there and look for her. Does anyone have any idea where she might have gone?’
‘Dunstable?’ said Sir Hotbreath.
‘Singetagel Castle?’ said Sir Blaze.
Sirs Burnevere, Galahot and Charash all filed into the room as they spoke, looking as lost as everyone else.
‘What about you three?’ demanded Griddle. ‘Do you have any idea where Flame might have run away to? Charash, you were in the fruit cellar with her, by that happy coincidence. Did she say anything about running away?’
‘Well,’ said Charash, looking rather frightened, ‘actually…’
‘Urgent news for King Allfire!’ a shrill voice shouted, and then Cinder and Clinker ran into the room clutching a scroll, which they held out to the King. Allfire took it, broke the seal and unrolled the message. Everyone watched, holding their breath, as he read down the length of the parchment with an expression of increasing horror.
‘Blazing dragons!’ he cried. ‘Flame isn’t hiding at all. She’s been kidnapped!’
‘Not in there,’ he said.
‘Sir Blaze,’ said Flicker. ‘You don’t really think that Flame would hide in a suit of armour just to annoy her father, do you?’
‘No, but we’re leaving no stone unturned, aren’t we?’
‘I don’t think she’s anywhere in the castle. Maybe she did run away without me… just to clear her head… and she’ll come back.’
‘Surely you’re not trying to shape reality with your thoughts, Flicker,’ said Blaze. ‘Flame definitely said she was going to see you, and you were expecting her to, weren’t you? I do think it might be search party time. Let’s go and find the King.’
They made their way to the Square Table chamber, where King Allfire was pacing up and down in front of the window. Queen Griddle was there too, sitting at the table and watching her husband with a look of concern. When Blaze and Flicker entered, Allfire stopped pacing and turned to face them.
‘Well?’ he said. ‘Have you found her yet?’
‘No sign, Your Majesty,’ said Blaze. ‘She doesn’t seem to be anywhere in the castle.’
As he spoke, Sir Loungelot and Sir Hotbreath entered the room, and both shook their heads helplessly at the King.
‘Right then,’ said Allfire. ‘The time for action has come. We need to get out there and look for her. Does anyone have any idea where she might have gone?’
‘Dunstable?’ said Sir Hotbreath.
‘Singetagel Castle?’ said Sir Blaze.
Sirs Burnevere, Galahot and Charash all filed into the room as they spoke, looking as lost as everyone else.
‘What about you three?’ demanded Griddle. ‘Do you have any idea where Flame might have run away to? Charash, you were in the fruit cellar with her, by that happy coincidence. Did she say anything about running away?’
‘Well,’ said Charash, looking rather frightened, ‘actually…’
‘Urgent news for King Allfire!’ a shrill voice shouted, and then Cinder and Clinker ran into the room clutching a scroll, which they held out to the King. Allfire took it, broke the seal and unrolled the message. Everyone watched, holding their breath, as he read down the length of the parchment with an expression of increasing horror.
‘Blazing dragons!’ he cried. ‘Flame isn’t hiding at all. She’s been kidnapped!’
Written by Jake Collins and Rosey Collins